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─────── August 14, 2026 ───────

Happy Friday!
In Monday’s newsletter, we said that the Senate was heading out on a five-day recess… it’s actually a five-week recess.

Katherine Anne (KA) correctly wrote five-week, Stephanie (Sassy) confirmed this during the fact-checking process, and then I changed it to five-day. I have no memory of doing this, but Google Docs tracks changes… and so I am, undeniably, the culprit (see all our corrections here).

This is my apology to KA, Sassy, and all 1.5 million of you.

Jason Woodruff | Cone-of-Shame-Wearing Founder

QUOTE OF THE DAY
“Church is not something we go to but something we belong to.”
Sam Allberry

ESPRESSO SHOTS

SPORTS

Selling Showtime

The NBA’s purple-and-gold crown jewel is being sold again.

Former Disney CEO Bob Iger and venture capitalist Josh Kushner agreed on Wednesday to buy a majority stake in the Los Angeles Lakers for $12.5B, the highest valuation ever for a sports team. They’re buying it from Mark Walter, who acquired control of the Lakers for $10B just 10 months ago and also owns the LA Dodgers.

Walter’s business empire is under federal investigation over improper disclosures for billions in loans and was reportedly seeking cash to pay them off (the loans, not the feds…).

Six NBA teams have changed ownership in three years, with valuations going wayyyy up (be careful scaling this steep graph) as venture capitalists have begun to see professional franchises as assets “that cannot be replicated by technology.”

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Verse to consider whether you’re in the market for an NBA franchise, saving for college, or wondering if you should put anything in the offering plate, “Don’t store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves don’t break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
Matthew 6:19-21 (CSB) (read full passage)

POLITICS

Ballots and Bucket Hats

Tuesday’s primary slate served some upsets.

Moderate Milwaukee County Executive David Crowley defied Wisconsin polls, narrowly beating State Representative Hong, a Democratic Socialist, for the swing state’s Democratic gubernatorial bid. He will face Republican Rep. Tiffany in November, who won his party’s nomination by a landslide.

In Minnesota, media outlets called the Republican gubernatorial primary for Minnesota House Speaker Lisa Demuth, but Trump-endorsed MyPillow founder Mike Lindell has not conceded. #47’s endorsement of Senator Darline Graham helped advance her to South Carolina’s August 25 Republican runoff against Representative Norman to replace her late brother on November’s ballot.

Across the pond, trashcan-wearing, “intergalactic space warrior” Count Binface threw his bucket in the ring to face controversy-laden Nigel Farage in a U.K. special election for Parliament (see Binface’s binface…).

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CHRISTIAN PERSPECTIVE
If all the election news coming from every direction is overwhelming to you, remember that your mission remains the same regardless of what’s new in the news cycle: love God and make disciples.

“Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe everything I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”
Matthew 28:19-20 (CSB) (read full passage)

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WORLD NEWS

Besieged

The siege of three homes has forced a West Bank village into lockdown.

Israeli settler extremists began camping outside three Palestinian homes in the village of Qusra on Sunday, trapping them inside while cutting off homes’ power and water. The siege escalates a push to build more settlements in the Palestinian territory, which is illegal under international law but rarely punished by Israel. An Israeli spokesperson called the recent actions “deplorable,” saying the IDF was deployed to “protect the residents” of the West Bank.

The offenders, whose stated aim is to empty the West Bank of Palestinian residents, were removed from their outposts yesterday but still lingered in the village.

One of the besieged homes belongs to a Palestinian-American. U.S. Ambassador to Israel Mike Huckabee condemned the “thuggish behavior” and requested Israeli authorities dislodge “Israeli terrorists.”

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PRAY WITH US
Father Who Brings Order from Chaos, quiet the unrest that is ruling on these streets. Spirit of Peace, subdue the violence that crushes your image bearers. Son Who Forgave His Most Bitter Enemies, interrupt cycles of hatred with radical love.

Bring hateful and violent dehumanizations to a sudden end; stabilize those who are mourning trampled identity, daily instability and danger, and collapse of livelihood. Give leaders wisdom and humility to pursue order, safety, and dignity for all people. Strengthen the military to walk in righteousness and courage, and help the international community engage constructively for the flourishing of these peoples and the entire region. Amen. (read full prayer here)

IN OTHER BREWS…

Inflation missed the summer heatwave memo. Consumer prices rose just 0.1% in July, lowering the annual inflation rate to 3.4% (from 3.5% in June), while core inflation (which ignores volatile gas and grocery prices) cooled to 2.5%. Markets celebrated the midsummer cooldown, and analysts are hopeful the trend will keep the Fed from turning up the A/C raising interest rates.


It’s a total eclipse of the… sun. On Wednesday, heads across Europe turned skyward as a total solar eclipse cast its shadow from Russia to Spain (see the eclipse… protective eyewear not required). The daytime darkness drew millions of viewers to the path of totality in the hopes of not only seeing the first-in-decades astronomical event, but also (temporarily) escaping stubbornly sweltering temps across the pond.


A Marine veteran was released after 4 years in Russian prison, arriving on American soil Tuesday. The Kremlin released Robert Gilman “on a humanitarian basis” after his family reported serious medical concerns to President Trump. Russia convicted the Massachusetts resident for kicking a police officer and later assaulting jailers; his family disputes the charges, saying he was detained politically and abused severely.


Leavitt is leaving. President Trump announced that White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt will resign at the end of the month to spend more time with her family. The 28-year-old, the youngest person to ever hold her position, had her second child in May and called leaving “bittersweet.” Trump says she will remain one of his “top outside advisors.”


ICE agents are getting new G.L.O.V.E.S. Monday, DHS announced plans to spend ~$20M on thousands of Generated Low Output Voltage Emitters (aka shock gloves) which deliver a jolt reportedly comparable to “a bee sting.” ICE says these will aid de-escalation and will increase compliance; while some critics worry giving ICE agents a covert means of delivering pain is “terrifying.”

WHIPPED CREAM ON TOP

Thidwick the Moose went for a dip...

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